CHAPTER 4
Fourth pillar: Sexuality in marriage.
The Theology of the Body, are 129 reflections based on the writings that Pope Saint John Paul II (1979-1984) made during the Wednesday audiences, to answer questions such as: what is masculinity, what is femininity, what It is the purpose of sexual desire and the experience of our sexuality, it encompasses everything that has to do with God and the body he gave us.
Can lust occur in marriage? After original sin, sin entered man, he began to commit lust. It is a sin committed in the sexuality of couples, it is not connected with the teachings of God, the Holy Spirit is not allowed to enter our hearts, I only wish to satisfy the physical desires of the body, it is an expression of fallen love and fallen relationships , we only share imperfections and do not feel the presence of God.
Sexual immorality (The Bible)
12 “Everything is permitted to me,” but not everything is for my good. “Everything is permitted to me,” but I will not let anything dominate me. 13 “Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food”; so it is, and God will destroy them both. But the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised up the Lord and will raise us up too. 15 Don’t you know that his bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I take the members of Christ to unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Don’t you know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For the Scripture says, “The two will become one.”[a] 17 But he who is united to the Lord becomes one with him in spirit.
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins that a person commits are outside of his body; But whoever commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that his body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you and whom you have received from God? You are not your own owners; 20 were bought for one price. Therefore glorify God with your body.
marriage advice
7 I now turn to the matters that were put to me in writing: “It is better not to have sexual relations.” [A] 2 But in view of so much immorality, each man must have his own wife and each woman her own husband’s wife. he. 3 The man must fulfill his marital duty with his wife and likewise the woman with her husband. 4 The woman no longer has the right over her own body, but her husband does. Neither does the man have the right over his own body, but rather his wife. 5 Do not deny one another, except by mutual agreement and only for a time, to devote yourself to prayer. Don’t be late in coming together again; Otherwise, they may fall into the temptation of Satan, due to lack of self-control. The difference between loving and using my partner, The partner is used when lust passes over the nuptial tribute of the body, which means that there is no I respect and only want to have pleasure and that is why I use my partner for that purpose. (The body has a “nuptial meaning” because it reveals the call of man and woman to become a gift to each other, a gift fully realized in their “one flesh” union. The body also has a “generative meaning” that (God willing) brings a “third” to the world through its communion. The human body has this “nuptial character” “which means that it is capable of expressing the love with which the man-person makes himself a gift. Thus verifying the deep sense of one’s own being and one’s own existence.)
Sometimes the man only shows love to receive sex and the woman shows sex because she wants to receive love.
The meaning of loving your partner as God loves is when the love for my partner is free, total, faithful and fruitful, giving life in fullness, as is the love of God. It is a total surrender to the other person and every time love is celebrated in a sexual relationship, it should be a renewal of the wedding promises, so when the years go by you can make this true renewal of those marriage promises again. Celebrating love is a holy union.
Contraceptives mean for my body, my marital relationship and my marriage before God, that I am against conception, I am telling the body “I want pleasure, it doesn’t want life, I don’t want a baby. The Holy Spirit is the Lord who gives life, therefore by not wanting life I also do not want the Holy Spirit, we are body and spirit and if we sterilize the body we also sterilize the spirit.
In the course of our married life, the devil or Satan attacks our marriage relationship to destroy it. Satan attacks our marriage relationship, with lust, abortion, pornography, infidelity, divorce, with contraceptives, tubal ligaments or vasectomy, when it puts jealousy, doubts, suspicions in our minds
Intimacy involves tenderness.
Tenderness is made up of generous gestures or words with which a person caresses not only the body but also the soul of the other person. That is to say, they are those looks of admiration, that wink of the eye that lifts our spouse’s spirits; They are the flowers with which we want to tell someone: “I thought especially of you today”; It is the hug of comfort or company with which we receive our partner after a day of work. They can also be “compliments” or flattering phrases that, even if time passes and the mirror reveals deterioration, make our partner feel that we continue to admire and love them. In short, the power of tenderness is such that we can say that it is the greatest and best aphrodisiac, not only because it motivates caresses, but because it keeps the couple in love.
From all this it is clear that “making love” is much more than going to bed. It is developing in all aspects of communication and coexistence the possibilities of dedication and intimacy of which God has made us capable, and that with his grace we can always improve.
When and how do sexual problems begin and recommendations to follow?
The difficulties that couples encounter in their physical or sexual communication also have to do with the difficulties in communicating through words. Dialogue is then key.
Sexuality is undoubtedly a very important aspect in the life of a marriage because it generates a lot of dynamism that collaborates with the development and strengthening of the couple. Therefore, achieving a good level of body dialogue is important.
That is why it is recommended to take into account:
Sexuality occupies a primary place in the life of the couple. Therefore, the desire for work, domestic problems or worries about children should be avoided from affecting it.
During the stage of raising children and a lot of work, the couple must escape from routine from time to time, find someone to take care of the children for a few hours and plan a romantic moment “just for them.”
The two must decide, by mutual agreement, when to have relations, taking into account each person’s state of mind and their responsible use of natural planning.
Sexuality includes all the gestures, words and attitudes that make it easier to express, through our body, affection, respect and attention for the other. That is why it is not reduced to gestures in bed but includes and begins with the details, the atmosphere of good communication and solidarity in daily life.
Sexuality is a way of expressing and celebrating love. Therefore, it assumes that love in general is being nourished through attitudes of trust, dedication and desire to please the other. Therefore, one cannot arrive at the intimacy of the bedroom brave, with resentments or fears that the previous dialogue has not resolved.
During sexual intercourse, each member of the couple must openly express what their sexual needs are, as well as what they like and dislike. This way you will both feel that you have been satisfied. And once the relationship is concluded, there must also be space for open communication, which allows knowing the degree of satisfaction that each person achieved.
Just as intimacy in conversations grows, intimacy in sexual relationships must also be open to the possibility that spouses grow in mutual knowledge of their bodies, increasingly discover what pleases the other most, and allow them to break up. the routine of gestures.
It’s important to come into the relationship without stress from responsibilities outside the relationship, and without the pressure of pretending that sex must be perfect. This moment must be made a true space of intimacy where each person listens to the needs of the other, respects her rhythm and preferences and accompanies her, with patience and delicacy, until her satisfaction.